Friday, August 20, 2010

When there is nothing to say, say anything

Photo courtesy of

I'm not new to the paranormal. I've been trying to find answers since I was six. For some reason people expect you to come out of the womb with a Ph.D. and a piece of an Extraterrestrial craft tucked into your umbilical cord.

When you open your mouth to speak, it damn well better be good. If you have something to say, whether in writing or on a stage behind a podium (in front of a screen with flashy graphics), it better sound plausible, smart and most of all commercial.

If you should happen to be so lucky, you get a book deal. Maybe a few. That's not to say everyone with a book deal is a snake oil salesman, but c'mon, we aren't all selling truth here. I'm not saying we're lying either, but we rely on the human ability to REMEMBER things as they were and that is some pretty shady stuff to adhere to. Scientists will tell you that what we remember isn't always what WAS/IS, so even if we aren't doing it on purpose, by default, we are selling bullshit.

Bunk. Crap. Hearsay. Speculation.

But some people sell it better than others.

I could write an ENTIRE book on every experience I have had in my life, from the haunted house I grew up in, to the things under my bed, to the Werewolf/Beastman I encountered some years ago. But just because I can close my eyes and see those things as I 'remember' them, does that mean they were real? Does it make me a liar to tell you they happened with as much conviction as I can muster?


But if I tell it to you so that you are intrigued enough to want to KNOW more, than that surely makes me far better off than the boring dude on my right who can drone on for hours about UFO crashes in deserts.

Truth is, when UFOLOGY is dry and there's nothing to report, perhaps it's best to just keep talking. Because when we say nothing, there's essentially a huge sign on our foreheads and it reads, "Nothing to see here folks. Move along." And then people stop giving a shit.

Whereas, when the kooks come out the wood work and say anything just to get a rise out of the media, all eyes are on us. Good attention. Bad attention. Seriously, can we afford to be picky? Because in the end, when the bullshitters are done talking and all the smoke has cleared, the audience that is left is gonna want to know more, and guess what? If they dare to stick around long enough; digging through the pile that is our line of work, then that my dears, is when they come across the true gems. The good shit. The truth. The things worth saying.

We just have to figure out a way to get them to stop watching 'Jersey Shore' for two seconds.