Monday, October 31, 2011

It all falls down...

It's that time of year again. A holiday that has been so easily misconstrued and revamped for the consumer masses (much like Christmas), that it's been reduced to costumes and candy. There was a time when Old Hallow's Eve actually meant a lot more than annoying little kids in pop-culture attire, knocking on your door, hoping to score a snack-sized snickers.

But who cares about that now? The fact that Halloween no longer invokes ANY fear is what you wanted isn't it? It's been pounded into your head. The dead don't come back and ghosts don't exist and Halloween is just an excuse to be mischievous and greedy. We get it. Actually, 'We' get it... but the rest of you nine-to-fivers are clueless.

Every year a certain Hollywood monster makes it into the pantheon of epic plumage and this year the title goes to the Zombie. Once the c-list monster no one gave two shits about, the Zombie has risen to Dracula status. There are Zombie walks and Emmy award winning Zombie television shows. The Zombie has become a symbol of all things dissident, from OCCUPY WALLSTREET to TERRORISM to a fear of the self-fulfilling prophecy of the end times.

Just when you thought Zombies were a geek phenom, the UFO community has gotten in on the whole trend, starting with an episode of ANCIENT ALIENS that aired last week. Aliens resurrecting the dead. Scientists are using Zombies to make a case for bio-terrorism and the psychology of humanity at the end of the world and now Ufologists are making a case for an actual Zombie apocalypse.

Five words: Are you fucking kidding me?

Is anyone employing their knowledge of biology here? Better yet, is anyone sane anymore? Don't get me wrong, I love Zombies. No, I mean, I LOVE ZOMBIES. I consider myself a connoisseur of the Undead. Every movie, comic book, token novel, television show... you name it... I've seen it, I own it and I know about it. And yes, I have been known to joke about the impending fictional Zombie invasion I'm preparing for. But for cripes sakes, as if the sheeple haven't enough to worry about, now mass media is drilling the idea of Zombies-as-reality into their heads.

No money. No jobs. No hope. Oh, and now you may have to prepare for Zombies. Really? Is this how we invoke Mass hysteria nower days? Forget that infamous Hallow's Eve broadcast of Orson Welles that proved people are really, really dumb. Soon we may find ourselves coveting the last can of spam and barricading our doors, in preparation for the raising of the dead.

Nostradamus would be proud. If only because he succeeded in converting a whole new generation of suckers. Happy Halloween.

No comments: