Wednesday, April 28, 2010


The older I get, the more I start to feel the Universe spitting at me. For instance, every night on my way home I pass by my grandmothers house. It is a huge house, and most of my immediate family calls it home. Every night, as I walk by on my way to my apartment, I find the gate open. Open gates are a bad thing. My grandfather, when he was alive, made sure the gate was shut at all times. It's not about not letting stray dogs in, etc. It's about keeping the good in and the bad out. Maybe it makes sense only to me and my superstitious clan, but it works. So, every night, I close the gate.

I close it and then I head on home.

But tonight, as I was approaching the last step up to the gate, I fell. I fell hard. Even as I am typing this my knee is throbbing. This is karma. This is what I get for giving attitude to people for that past few days because of my own disdain over what has become my life. Just like the other day when I helped a woman find her credit card and she likened me to an angel. I pretended not to acknowledge the compliment. And then 20 minutes later, as I was at the Harvard Square station, waiting for the train, I spotted a girl with cute pink sandals.

I told her they were nice. She ignored me. Karma.

Maybe I'm just becoming one of those disenchanted people who see everything as a slight against their existence, but honestly, I've always seen people get what they give. I gave out negative energy, and in return I am at home nursing a bum knee.


Maybe next time I'll wear knee guards.


Erik said...

...and shoulder pads, football helmet, chest guard, shin guards, protective gloves...

Sorry you are having an existentially rough time of it, Girl. Take heart. This too shall pass. More important than focusing on some Universal payback system of reciprocation is the idea that everything is transient in nature.

That should make a Happy Thought!

Cheers, Love and Grace,


Rich said...

I don't think we control anything and we (each and every one of us) gets what is given to us, for whatever unknown reason(s).

Just my unbelief in free will and how the universe does not necessarily care whether you are a piece of wood or a person...all fundamentally composed of the same thing and treated the same.

IMPORTANT QUESTION: Can anyone say what a person, animal or any living thing are composed of, that is DIFFERENT from other matter, if there is free will? What composes YOU, your thoughts, feelings, personality and indeed EVERYTHING you are?

Everything is connected (including all of what we are) and, I do believe, do not TRULY act independently...AT ANY GIVEN TIME OR MOMENT.

Hence, if a piece of wood can't control anything, neither can any of us. Feelings of control and basically everything about this world being more like an illusion than anything else. So, even if there is no free will...the world does seem to work...just not necessarily for any one of us (or anything) in particular. More for itself...whatever this ALL turns out to be.

Wait a minute. How did I write this with no free will?

!) How EXACTLY does anything happen? Don't tell me the laws of physics, etc. TELL ME IN exquisite detail the workings of this WHATEVER this all is. How EXACTLY would a nonmaterial thing (beyond the sights of the most powerful microscope [perhaps telescope too]) control a material thing?). How EXACTLY would that work? Notice I use the word EXACTLY several times as I want to know the mechanism of how that would work. Don't tell can never be known.


2) WHY does it happen and WHY anything at all? Now here is where there can be countless answers and all of them could be wrong. Who is to ACTUALLY KNOW?

See, so whether we have free will or not is not as clear as we all like to believe, feel and act... or think we "run our daily lives."

So, it stands, my belief is we have NO free will. A lot of people may believe or "know" we do have free will. Answer me #1 and #2 above correctly, and then I might believe you. Notice, I said correctly.

Jack Wilson said...

You talked about Karma, and Rich talked about free will. I do not think we have the ability to control what is going to happen to us, whether it is a good thing or bad. Example: If I had the ability to remove the dark cloud over my head by removing the negative energy I project, it would stand to reason that people who project negative energy back at me should also have a dark cloud over their head too, right? I mean if my suffering is from the bad things I did to others or the negative thoughts about them shouldn't they suffer similar things for having bad thoughts or actions back at me?
I do however, get to decide if the chunk of wood goes into my stove to heat my house or stay out there on the ground and rot.

CxMinette said...

It's so true what they say - no good deed goes unpunished!